jerking off; spit-shining the old water pump; waxing the brass candlestick; beating off; playing cards with only one hand on the table; riding the quarter-horse; joining the mile-high club, solo-aviator division; giving in to the hand police; wank.

Masturbating has many names and unfortunately for me, I read Accidental Masturbators blog yesterday when he was so happy to have sex with his wife but unable to orgasm so he was going to abstain from masturbation for one week. Hyacinth (guestblog from yesterday) took up the torch and agreed to help him out (nooo, not that way u pervs ). Nope, she would also try to behave herself.

So as a helping hand, I throw myself into this as well and will stay away from my private parts for one week, other lovely bloggers have also committed to this so during one week there will be many frustrated sex/erotica bloggers on wordpress…  

It’s all getting a bit out of hand

For those who do not yet know, Hyacinth and I have made a pact of celibacy. That’s not to say we have agreed not to fuck each other (I sincerely doubt I could satisfy her), but rather to abstain from orgasming for a week. It may seem like madness, and on Hy’s part I think it probably is, but it all seems to be snowballing (… and no, I don’t mean snowballing).

I shall not wank for a week, or until I next get to fuck my Wife, whichever is the sooner.
Hyacinth will not wank or fuck for a week, or until I next get to fuck my Wife, whichever is the sooner.

I promise not to orgasm or fuck for a week.

This is a new Hy, I suppose. For a week. It will steel my resolve for every time The Neighbor stops by for no reason for 3 minutes or pops his head over his balcony bars on a muggy morning while my baby and I are eating breakfast high above the palm trees.

I have made a promise to a friend — sweet, pervy AM — to not release myself. I can keep a promise to him. Not myself.